Ready to Start Over

(first published in Ukiah Daily Journal September 20, 2015)

Getting ready to head out for a walk in the very welcome rain, I recalled the bright yellow rain jacket I used to have. Then I reflected that it had been in one of those huge bags full of clothes that were donated to local charities as I made a recent move. Just too much stuff, you know.

This has happened before. There have been too many moves to recall, it seems. Sometimes I will pause and remember a beautiful piece of furniture that wouldn’t fit into a new residence and had to be given away – to whom I am not always sure, but it does not grace my living spaces anymore.

Those are just things, I’ve told myself. Not important, really! Don’t get me started on the people I no longer can see or talk to…that’s way too sad to remember. Yet life continues – for me.

Many folks may feel that way today who have been burnt out and evacuated from their homes in nearby counties; and they will be missing lots of things: their child’s favorite toy, that box of travel souvenirs, or the ring from that special someone in the past. Not easy to replace.

Thankfully, the death toll has not been high; one retired teacher who gave many students some memories in years past, no doubt. We read or hear about Barbara McWilliams’ tragic death and feel terrible. Sadly, breaking news continues to report that several more are missing and may possibly have lost their lives as well in the disaster. Those who survive feel lucky, but also mourn those who were not so lucky. What a dichotomy of feeling.

Watching news and YouTube videos gives us a close look at the reality of many affected by the nearby Valley fire. Several who discover their homes are still standing have expressed relief, followed by guilt. They ask, “Why me, but not my neighbor?”

Fire officials cannot answer that either; fire swept in so fast, and somehow skipped over a few buildings. Guesses range from wind changes to building materials, but that strangeness still exists with which all have to live.

Like many, I’ve tried to imagine what I would run to safety with if I only had a few minutes; it’s not a pretty picture. My imagination cannot begin to encompass what I would really feel and do, I’m sure. Yet many of us must try. Empathy insists we do this.

The big question now must be how do they start over? Those interviewed are just coming out of shock enough to start wondering about their insurance coverage or where they will be allowed to live for the near future.

For some, it may be years before they are able to go back to their old living space – if they even want to or can do that. Red tape will be stretching for miles in some cases. A few who have been interviewed mentioned that they weren’t allowed to maintain much of a policy on their homes because it was in a rural, wooded area. Thanks, big insurance companies who can afford to say no.

Renters, business owners and homeowners alike will be dependent on local emergency funds and Red Cross donations for quite awhile. Then what? How do you rebuild a whole town? Not many have had to do that in recent years; San Francisco’s comeback from earthquake and ash was huge, but not many are still alive to share with us their stories of starting over. Just imagine how different build permits and insurance procedures might have been over a hundred years ago though.

Today we see huge donations coming in from large corporations and organizations which is wonderful, but how does all of that get divvied up and put to rebuilding little Jane Doe’s house in Middletown, I don’t know. Come to think of it, I even heard recently a few sad stories of folks whose lives have not been put right from the Hurricane Katrina devastation ten years ago.

Taking inventory with a calm mind would be necessary to really get a handle on rebuilding. Perhaps using a third party who has no investment in your decisions would help, too. Which new resources are at your disposal – and how do you access them would be a next step.

Then, I imagine a myriad of scenarios would dictate your next step towards re-settling of you and your family. Each person, family and business is very unique so there would be no blanketed advice to give everyone. All would have their own maze in which to maneuver back to a sense of well-being again.

It’s probably very good advice for all of us to set up a plan for emergency or disaster – at least as much as we can. And, hopefully, there would be avenues of help for us, if needed, thanks to generous donations from our fellow humans. That’s the magic word in this case – hope. Do not lose it, and do not hesitate to give it to those who need it now! 

Brews 'N' Blues

(Published in the Ukiah Daily Journal - - August 23, 2015)

Driving past the sad, tall-sailing “Fjord” sign, I flashed yet again on how wonderful it would be if somebody opened a business in that very optimal site. And, unlike the very cool Bagel Zen Blues which had a very short shelf life, hopefully it would be supported locally and offer culinary and musical treats to this little town.

If not for the wonderful free summer concerts, Ukiah’s live music venues would be fewer and farther between. The Office is still going strong a couple of concerts per month, but seating is very limited and late hours aren’t possible due to the residential neighborhood.

Ukiah’s own Brewing Company has morphed into the more prestigious Ritual…an interesting but actually a possibly disturbing name to some for a restaurant. Prices are higher, but servings are tiny on large plates. The worst part? The stage was traded for two or three more tables, so NO more live music!

Some of us thought years ago that we’d see more lively evenings when Mendocino Brewing Company changed from its Hopland hot night venue and set up production at the south industrial area in Ukiah. But, no. Their nearby store is pretty much that – a store for their beers with no atmosphere and offer only theater-style hot dogs and maybe fries if you’re lucky. At least that was my experience in the past. I hope it’s changed.

The huge Crush steakhouse has talented pianists playing in the entry (a little hard to hear back in the booths and tables) but disappointingly stopped their live weekend music in the large, casual bar section on weekends.

We can find chicken wings and trucker breakfasts along with some take-home pizza and sandwiches on the north end of town, but have to drive up to Redwood Valley for truly good cuisine – to Mario’s Italian Restaurant or The Broiler, which has its awesome retro bar, but have yet to hear any live music there.

Thankfully, a new version of the previous Redwood Valley Café is opening soon and plans more live music. They have a lot to offer in the way of stage space and had a reputation for good service, too. But, it’s a drive – on the highway, late at night after good tunes and imbibing, which can cause concern.

For that casual patron of drink and loud bands, Club Calpella offers party-central, especially for holiday celebrations! That’s lucky for local bands like Double Standyrd, Warehouse 21, Fat Chance Trucking Band and more.

Thank goodness for some wineries in our area who know the importance of bringing out patrons by offering more than wine; adding musicians and caterers draws more customers, they’ve learned. Nelson Family Vineyards, Parducci, Rivino and Simaine Cellars have discovered this secret. Testa Vineyards now, too, I hear.

However, back in the little town of Ukiah…

Downtown restaurants like Dora’s Gourmet Café, Oco Time, Patrona’s and Saucy are jammed and treat customers to great food at reasonable prices, but none offer dinner with live music; though I’m sure if adequate space were available, these owners would appreciate the opportunity for local – and out of area musicians to complete an occasional stellar evening for us. Anna’s Bistro has an early evening of live music sporadically, to complement their wonderful menu and premium wines.

Perhaps I’m just a bit deflated after attending the 9^th annual Blue Wing Blues Festival in Upper Lake. Yes, it’s a half hour away, but certainly worth the drive to hear fantastic blues artists while enjoying local wines and fairly tasty food under the lights and sycamores.

There is still one more night Bernie Butcher, the owner, has scheduled coming up on Labor Day. Check it out and get your tickets at bluewingsaloon.com or call 275-2233. Monday, September 7 promises to be terrific music with boogie woogie queen, Wendy Dewitt (a top act of her own) opening for Nancy Wright, an amazing saxophonist from the Bay Area who is an up and coming player on regional and international blues scenes. She lit up the stages on a Legendary Rhythm and Blues Cruise we had the pleasure to be on recently.

A letter published in the Ukiah Daily Journal some days ago voiced concern over the rumor about a new tavern possibly opening where Dragon’s Lair store and Romi’s Brew and BBQ are now located on Perkins Street. Well, it would be welcomed with open arms. Nearby Perkins Street Lounge’s dancing poles and pool tables have their place; but a classy, noisy bar with occasional live music would be a welcome addition for many Ukiahans.

There’s so much good food and live music in the world to be enjoyed. I hope more of it comes to our little town.

Every Day's a Saturday

(originally published in the Ukiah Daily Journal June 28, 2015)

As much as most of us do not enjoy the slowing of our bodies or the graying of our hair, we have to admit that the growing wisdom from experience and the dawning of retirement upon our lives can definitely help to compensate for some of the physical downgrade.

Of course, the biological struggle continues for many when Rogaine, Botox and Viagra use become part of the senior citizens’ efforts to ward off the inevitable; aging gracefully is much easier to talk about when we’re 40 than it is twenty or thirty more years down the road.

It is a time of letting go: the tedious grind, the daily job, the busy hubbub. Somewhat bittersweet for most, but still a release. Maybe it’s a practice, or a drill, if you will – for when we pass from this life altogether? We’ll see.

I do know for a fact that retiring from one’s chosen career or profession sometimes leads to a whole new opportunity of work. This hasn’t happened to me – yet. I am still very happy to sleep in whenever I desire and not have to please my superiors. That has been an immense joy, and I will not let it go easily.

However, both my parents began employment in a completely different field after their retirements in their late 60’s. For more than a decade they were very satisfied to get up and go to work, again. It was inspiring in many ways to watch them stay useful and benefit from extra pay. People they worked with also enjoyed the advantage of my parents’ wisdom and experience, making it a win-win.

Perhaps that is one reason why they are still up and going now (Mom’s 87, Dad’s 93). Another reason, I believe, is because they still have each other; not many are that fortunate. Maintaining a bond with a mate can definitely extend one’s time here on earth; statistics are there if you look.

One man I had the privilege to know met his new love after he listened to friends who encouraged him to go out to musical events when he was nearing 70. Reticent to enter the dating world, he still opened his life to someone once more. His willingness to love again is an inspiration to all the aging friends he left behind when he passed.

Other close friends retiring from their careers before me, and now after me, are finding the boundless joys this exciting and mysterious time in life can bring. Offset by parents passing or the need to replace knees and shoulders, this life of ‘every day’s a Saturday’ is definitely worth the years of work that brought it to pass.

It is often annoying, though, to see flashing across my computer homepage the various headlines targeting us boomers: “The top ten pitfalls of retirement” or “Where should you live when you retire?”  I am too late for much of the preparatory advice, perhaps…but what can I do with what I have and where I am now?

The answers are actually abundant to the point where it can be confusing. Several options lay before me and many of my friends for every area of life. Finance, relationship and household decisions still give us pause; life’s biggies may still need settling. Should we move to a less expensive area – or country? Money goes much farther in South America, I hear.

Should we marry – or is it financially wiser to maintain two households in the relationship? Balancing the negatives and positives of retiree marriages is a tough one sometimes.

One of my close friends is dealing now with several of those big stressors: divorce, retirement, new relationship, home sale and moving, broken limb…you name it! It’s exciting, but scary, too.

You know those top ten stressful challenges of life – they may be even more challenging into our later years. Is there remedy? You bet! Good friends, lovers, music, food and wine can help, trust me.

Oh, and did I mention…grandchildren?! Don’t worry, I won’t get out my pictures to show you, but suffice it to say my little one-year-old grandson has sparked more love into my aging life! His cheery, dimpled face brightens my day when we Skype; listening to his first, “Bye, Gram-ma!” helped diminish sadness as I ended a recent visit. The future has taken on a whole new perspective.

Thankfully, the wonderful man in my life, together with all my dear family and friends will keep me thinking positively as I move forward into the last chapters of life. My hope is that everyone I know might be as lucky.

Pondering the Future of Earth

(originally published in the Ukiah Daily Journal May 24, 2015)

Despite my retirement from teaching last June, I’ve continually realized how much is still to be learned – and taught in life. One of my favorite activities is what I call “mind meandering” here on this small earthen ball spinning in airless, chunky soup which we call space. Ahhh, here we go a-meandering…

Space, the last frontier – a nod to my fellow Star Trek fans – is a huge something to ponder with our little minds. All of those existential questions usually come to the surface: How did we get here? Where is here? Why am I here? Etc, etc…

Believe me, I have no answers, just theories – which is all anyone could really have, since we’ve not been able to view our universe from another vista point or read a book written by a space traveler (sorry, Douglas Adams’s Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy  doesn’t count as a reference book on this subject).

Although noteworthy earth and sky students Copernicus and Galileo studied and questioned our universe five hundred years ago, it has taken many more scientists and their proven theories since then to bring us to our modern understanding. The caveat is that a few more hundred years from now, humans will look back and again realize how much is yet to learn.

As I substituted for a middle school class teacher last week, I was impressed by the passion of a young student in the class, Jade. Hopefully, we all were made aware of how much we humans must continually learn during the lesson. We watched a video on Galileo, a practicing Catholic and amazing stargazer who chose to believe the facts of his heavenly studies which clashed with Church doctrine at the time, unfortunately transforming the Church into his nemesis.

Galileo claimed, “I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with senses, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” A good philosophy even today.

Since humans have only been on this planet for a relatively short time, neither the medieval nor modern age has dealt with cataclysmic changes. It seems our planet has spun for millions of years between those earth-changing events. Yet, from many pulpits as well as scientific platforms, various authorities pontificate on the possible modes of destruction for which we are bound as a planet. But when? Some may say next month; others may predict major earth disasters a few millennia from now. Who knows?!

The big questions we’re asking today is HOW will we do ourselves in – will it be Fire or Ice that makes life on earth impossible? (poet Robert Frost has a comment on that.) And, what can we do to keep it from ending badly? Hmmmm.

Multiple storytellers have too many possible scenarios to count. And, scientists cannot come to a consensus on this point, either. It is one of the big mysteries - - and I hope we’re wasting our time and imagination, to be honest.

Post-apocalyptic movies have been around since the 1930’s, starting with Deluge and Things to Come – what? Never seen them?! Maybe you’d like more recent films like Mad Max – Fury Road (2015) where you’ll hear, “My name is Max. My world is reduced to a single instinct: Survive.” OK.

Or there’s a more plausible television series, Revolution, where a universal power blackout makes surviving too difficult for most who are dependent on electricity and internet; despite being violent and back-to-basics, it imagines that some of us would be on a “journey of hope” and a rebirth of sorts. Check it out on Netflix – only two seasons, 2013 and 2014.

I would like to think that we can continue to adapt and create ways to manage what’s happening to us and our home planet. It’s what we’ve been doing as a species since we came into existence.

In recent history, modern humans moved from problem areas like the Dust Bowl after long droughts or rebuilt populations and cities after Black Deaths and World Wars.

Some interesting studies mentioned in a Time.com article explore the idea that many of our human physical changes are due to not only genetics, but also to our cultures. The National Academy of Sciences posed that cultural factors tend to have much more prominent impact than natural selection in the shaping of future generations. So, everything from what we eat for lunch and the number of our offspring could affect the future of our species - as well as a lack of rainfall and ozone changes!

Should we make changes in our behaviors to do less damage to the future of young Jade and her descendants? Of course, but will that be enough? And, if it’s not, can we load up and move to a healthier planet somewhere in the heavens? Maybe. Who’s to say that will not be possible in another millennium?! Look at all the changes in us and our home since modern homo sapiens evolved about 100,000 years ago. 

Take a Stroll...Down the Alley!

Most communities have older areas where neighborhood homes have detached garages and alleys in back. You've seen them - and probably walk past admiring the mature trees and established rose bushes. Beautiful. Not everyone wants the shiny, new subdivisions.

My little town has just published and now is distributing brochures to visitors to come and take walks (4 mapped "trails" in all) through some of our neighborhoods - many dating back several decades.

What I find very odd about one of the four routes is that it directs walkers into the alleys in a section of residences. Having lived on one of these streets previously, I was perhaps more prone to be wary.

Wary of what, you ask? Would you want folks to be strolling along your back yard fence, first of all? Most of us spend time on our back patios or in our back yards because it is more private - for cooking, eating, entertaining and playing.

Now, our city is touting these residential alleys as a walk to be used for exercise that "provides a glimpse into a bygone era when life was simpler and slower." Nothing wrong with that, but no glimpsing in my back yard, I'd say!

After reading an article about this particular tour in our local newspaper, I decided to take a stroll down the highlighted alleyways and see what I could see. In fact, I took my camera along for documenting the true "beauty" that is now being marketed to visitors to our area. What will they like best?

Would it be the bright, ragged strips of blue tarps tattered across some fences? Or maybe someone will want to duplicate the abandoned tire rim "statue" just down the way from the eight-foot satellite dish. This is museum material here.

I did find a little squirrel "sentinel" in an oak tree bordering one alley opening. That, combined with the fat cat padding quickly ahead of me, made me feel like I was really on a nature jaunt for sure. That was - until the growling pit bull with gleaming yellow eyes ran back to greet me at a back gate a few driveways past. I slowed down just in time to miss the pile of cat puke at my feet. Stunning.

Confused by our city's attempt for these "pleasant" walks to "stimulate the local economy," I wondered how leading visitors past haphazard pickets and drooping gates would entice them to our dying downtown - unless it would be to purchase bright flags at Dragon's Lair or pretty curtains from the Goodwill to donate to the many dilapidated back doors. And, this was in a good neighborhood. These nice homes are very neat and tidy in the front for the most part. But, really, who takes visitors off the street and walks them back to their alleys for a nice view?

What really doesn't make sense is that all four of our new prescribed walks are NOT in the nicest Westside neighborhoods at all. They all go close or around parts of some pretty parks, it's true. That makes sense. But none of our fairest streets filled with beautiful older homes are being marketed to strangers for those regimented routes helping people "find ways to exercise."

The folks down at the City Hall or Chamber of Commerce wouldn't want hordes of tourists walking past their homes - let alone past their backyards and garages!

Privacy is a valuable commodity - so if you want some, build yourself an 8-foot fence and grow bamboo to protect yours if you live on an alley in this town.

Canadian Knights Without Armor Save My Summer

As I hustle through my back-to-school life, I realize I actually missed having a deadline and a reason to write. Of course, good writing takes quality time and thought which can both dribble to nothing when faced with multiple personal crises, which happens to the best of us.

However, this summer has been glorious despite some unplanned – and planned, physical changes of venue at home and at work. When you take your life apart physically in both of those essential arenas, you find out what’s really important and necessary.

For example, in my classroom, I asked, “Do I have to keep those fifty folders of old teaching ideas from ancient workshops?” Or as I shuffled through my closet at home, I questioned how often I’ve worn that sweater or if I really need those ten out-dated scarves that hang there. It’s good to clean out your life; but how many times, I wonder, will my furniture make the move? Unhappily, I discovered how tough it was to part with some pieces – like family almost.

Balancing the movin’ blues, however, was a summer full of wonderful short trips here and there. Sometimes it’s helpful to just walk away – or fly, perhaps, to get a better perspective. During a 10-day journey to New York, I found the view from the top of Niagra Falls really helped to clear away a few spiritual cobwebs! The beauty and force of Nature never fails to re-charge my faded outlook; and boy, did my camera get a major workout. I wanted to take it all home with me. Funny thing was, the most exciting and rewarding part of the trip was when my camera almost didn’t make it out of the Niagra River Gorge.

Fair warning: this could be one of those stories where you just had to be there, but it needs telling. I learned two things in this particular crisis: one, my faith in humanity is restored once again; and two, Canadians rock!

After a long and somewhat exasperating attempt to find a good trail down to the river’s edge, we were finally able to drag and scrape across some of the giant boulders to get close to the river. It was pulsing with jet boats blasting upriver over huge, white rapids and around swirling vortexes. We were not alone; many hikers swarmed over the trails and boulders nearby.

I started to unzip my case and pull my camera out for yet another picture, but hesitated and decided to move over another foot for a better view. Bending over to crawl across the rough slate surface, I helplessly watched as my camera slid out through the unzipped cover and clacked down between the piled-up boulders under my feet. I won’t repeat here the expletive that also escaped my lips, and I didn’t whisper it either.

In fact, three young men hiking nearby at that moment heard my exclamation and were immediately at my side asking, “What happened – are you all right, ma’am?”

Strapping and bare-chested, the two who were perhaps near thirty years old insisted that they could help. A younger boy with them hung back but followed their every directive. After a few acrobatic stretches down between boulders and a few scratches, their efforts proved fruitless. I was willing to forget it, to leave behind my newly-acquired mementos of a wonderful trip. But, they were not.

Sean and Larry took on their roles of brave knights on a Quest. Whether to prove something to themselves or to impress us, the two young Canadians from St. Catharine’s, Ontario refused to give up. My camera was going to re-surface from beneath the boulders come hell or high water.

After holding each other upside down to reach under the rocks, then cutting a branch from a nearby tree to extend their reach, they decided they could move small boulders which blocked their efforts. Valiant tries notwithstanding, victory still was not theirs – or mine; and I once again insisted that I could live without it. They should relax and enjoy their day on the river. But, no…

After many heave-ho’s and loud grunts, my hero Sean, covered with colorful tattoos and several stabbing scars, jumped down off the rock into the shallow water. He began his first foray trying to go under the boulders; moving smaller pieces of rock, he was able to see my camera resting on gravel up out of the water beneath me.

“Serge, come here!” he yelled to the smallest, perhaps ten or twelve years old. “Serge can squeeze right under – I know it’ll work!” New energy raced into Sean’s face. He was not going to quit. In fact, he told me if I wanted to leave without my camera, he would stay until he found it anyway. They don’t make ‘em like this anymore, we agreed later on our way home.

Little Serge wiggled and stretched through the water and gravel. We heard a muffled, “I got it!” It took another squeezing effort to get himself back out exactly the way he’d gotten under. The older men cautioned him to carefully exit the way he had entered commenting to me that his mother would be upset otherwise. Duh! I was just picturing the headlines…and I was near a stroke, myself!

My joy, relief, and astonishment almost left me speechless. What could I do to repay this?! My small cash rewards didn’t seem enough. This did not happen everyday, and people in our society don’t work this hard to help a stranger! It was definitely above and beyond the call of duty.

So, boys, this column is for you. At least the good people here in Mendocino County will know of your good Samaritan efforts, your indefatigable attitude and know the world is a better place with folks like you in it! Thanks for making my summer!

The Top 10 you don’t want to be in

We are all rude – to someone at some time – or at least we have been perceived that way. Being human usually entails thinking only of oneself on occasion; hence, that’s when someone has thought us rude. Okay, now that we’ve justified our incivility…
Let’s talk about perceptions. Look back 30, 40 or 50 years (sorry, youngsters) and you will see how our actual definitions of rudeness have changed. Working for someone who showed favoritism in hiring or promotions, listening to blonde – Polish – or “the little woman” jokes, and breathing other people’s cigarette smoke in the work place, restaurant or even your own home were all commonplace.
As social and environmental progress is made, we’ve seen our reactions to these behaviors change dramatically. And, yes, many of these situations only evolved via the courtrooms or legislators of our land. Interestingly, however, some things never seem to change.
Johns Hopkins University released results from a study last week – the Terrible Ten Behaviors, which listed as number one: “Discrimination in an employment situation.” Polled were 615 employees and university students in Baltimore. See their press release at www.jhu.edu/news/home07/oct07/civility.html.
Thirty examples of rude behavior were listed on the survey, and respondents were asked to rate each from 1 (not offensive) to 5 (most offensive). Not surprisingly, using cell phones during conversations or meetings made it to the top ten; but, surprisingly it was at the bottom of that list. In fact, misuse of handicapped privileges was two places ahead. While driving anywhere in California, it seems the blue designated parking places are most often the only vacant spots…or is that just my perception?
Back to the number one category – employment discrimination. First of all, the category is vague. Discrimination against one’s age, sexual orientation, race or body shape? Who knows?! We know it can and does happen, but often difficult to prove or redress. Maybe we forget that only one applicant can be granted the open position; could we be upset that we just didn’t get the job? “I’ve been cheated!” Uh-huh.
The next few terrible behaviors have always been perceived as terrible: aggressive or dangerous driving, taking credit for someone else’s work, treating service providers as inferiors. Then we come to jokes or remarks that mock another’s race, gender, age, etc. Many have lost the ability to laugh at these, thank goodness. However, some rude, outspoken media celebrities continue to model this behavior which keeps it alive, unfortunately.
Bullying is number six of these top ten. Our perception of this has begun to change, but we still have a ways to go. It used to be traditional behavior in high school locker rooms or hallways, often instigated by coaches/leaders perhaps. Hazing was an accepted part of the maturing process – until we woke up and noticed the real damage to our quiet, introverted students. Now, we see more violent reactions of some of these mistreated who finally “speak up” - with their parent’s revolver.
Number seven is littering. Yes, it’s a problem, but compare our streets and highways to earlier decades, if you can. Major ad campaigns have helped achieve a major overhaul in many folks’ thinking. Most parents instill this early in their children - as opposed to parents in earlier decades who probably rolled the car window down for us to throw our gum out onto the blacktop. Of course, back then we didn’t even have paper-wrapped foods to eat on the go, thus eliminating much potential litter. Hmmmm.
Remember seeing cigarette butts all over the ground - if you weren’t near an ashtray, which was often part of a room’s furnishings?! Watch any mid-20th century movie and you’re reminded how it used to be - main characters lighting up and puffing through every scene. Has our perception of smoking ever changed! With laws now prohibiting smoking in many public places, this behavior still makes it into the terrible top ten. Unbelieveable.
In fact, while enjoying our local Pumpkinfest downtown last weekend, I struggled for hours to find someone smoking, and I looked hard – especially on the periphery of activities. Only one cigar and one pipe could be seen, together with two cigarettes…pretty amazing.
Now, the final and nefarious cell phone user was very visible at the downtown event just like anyplace - all the time! And I was one of them, admittedly. But in my defense, I found an isolated spot and made it short. If we are walking, talking or spending time with our friends or family, is it rude to take or make a phone call without removing ourselves? In a casual environment, it may be no worse than someone coming up and interrupting our conversation…but in a more formal work or entertainment setting, it has become, deservedly, a major faux pas (though only number 10 on this list). And how many annoying phone rings can there be?!
It would be interesting to see results of a top ten terrible behavior survey fifty years from today. Our perceptions are always changing, along with society’s norms. Hopefully, as our technology and customs evolve, we will continue to think about others and the effect our behavior has on them. The old golden rule still works.