Ready to Start Over

(first published in Ukiah Daily Journal September 20, 2015)

Getting ready to head out for a walk in the very welcome rain, I recalled the bright yellow rain jacket I used to have. Then I reflected that it had been in one of those huge bags full of clothes that were donated to local charities as I made a recent move. Just too much stuff, you know.

This has happened before. There have been too many moves to recall, it seems. Sometimes I will pause and remember a beautiful piece of furniture that wouldn’t fit into a new residence and had to be given away – to whom I am not always sure, but it does not grace my living spaces anymore.

Those are just things, I’ve told myself. Not important, really! Don’t get me started on the people I no longer can see or talk to…that’s way too sad to remember. Yet life continues – for me.

Many folks may feel that way today who have been burnt out and evacuated from their homes in nearby counties; and they will be missing lots of things: their child’s favorite toy, that box of travel souvenirs, or the ring from that special someone in the past. Not easy to replace.

Thankfully, the death toll has not been high; one retired teacher who gave many students some memories in years past, no doubt. We read or hear about Barbara McWilliams’ tragic death and feel terrible. Sadly, breaking news continues to report that several more are missing and may possibly have lost their lives as well in the disaster. Those who survive feel lucky, but also mourn those who were not so lucky. What a dichotomy of feeling.

Watching news and YouTube videos gives us a close look at the reality of many affected by the nearby Valley fire. Several who discover their homes are still standing have expressed relief, followed by guilt. They ask, “Why me, but not my neighbor?”

Fire officials cannot answer that either; fire swept in so fast, and somehow skipped over a few buildings. Guesses range from wind changes to building materials, but that strangeness still exists with which all have to live.

Like many, I’ve tried to imagine what I would run to safety with if I only had a few minutes; it’s not a pretty picture. My imagination cannot begin to encompass what I would really feel and do, I’m sure. Yet many of us must try. Empathy insists we do this.

The big question now must be how do they start over? Those interviewed are just coming out of shock enough to start wondering about their insurance coverage or where they will be allowed to live for the near future.

For some, it may be years before they are able to go back to their old living space – if they even want to or can do that. Red tape will be stretching for miles in some cases. A few who have been interviewed mentioned that they weren’t allowed to maintain much of a policy on their homes because it was in a rural, wooded area. Thanks, big insurance companies who can afford to say no.

Renters, business owners and homeowners alike will be dependent on local emergency funds and Red Cross donations for quite awhile. Then what? How do you rebuild a whole town? Not many have had to do that in recent years; San Francisco’s comeback from earthquake and ash was huge, but not many are still alive to share with us their stories of starting over. Just imagine how different build permits and insurance procedures might have been over a hundred years ago though.

Today we see huge donations coming in from large corporations and organizations which is wonderful, but how does all of that get divvied up and put to rebuilding little Jane Doe’s house in Middletown, I don’t know. Come to think of it, I even heard recently a few sad stories of folks whose lives have not been put right from the Hurricane Katrina devastation ten years ago.

Taking inventory with a calm mind would be necessary to really get a handle on rebuilding. Perhaps using a third party who has no investment in your decisions would help, too. Which new resources are at your disposal – and how do you access them would be a next step.

Then, I imagine a myriad of scenarios would dictate your next step towards re-settling of you and your family. Each person, family and business is very unique so there would be no blanketed advice to give everyone. All would have their own maze in which to maneuver back to a sense of well-being again.

It’s probably very good advice for all of us to set up a plan for emergency or disaster – at least as much as we can. And, hopefully, there would be avenues of help for us, if needed, thanks to generous donations from our fellow humans. That’s the magic word in this case – hope. Do not lose it, and do not hesitate to give it to those who need it now!