Who Will Take Care of You?

Let’s toast to growing old and wise! It’s good to keep your chin up about that…getting older can be much maligned. Some think that as they lose their hair and memory, their quality of life also fades. Well, actually, that’s possible. But, I didn’t want to depress you in the first sentence.
You probably will get wiser, no doubt. But will there be any who want to hear it or learn from your experiences? Hope so. Two factors may affect that possibility.
First, boomers and their children are having fewer children, if any. Add that to the fact that boomers will probably live longer than their predecessors; they could end up with no one to see them through those last, physically challenging years.
We do see some strong movement towards extended families – elders staying at home longer, maybe living with or near their grown children. They are the lucky ones. Those giving the care may feel good about it, too, sometimes; but often the toll is high for their sacrifices – even if given willingly.
Yes, it can be emotionally draining, but there is also a practical as well as financial cost to their loving efforts. In fact, a new AARP Public Policy Institute study shows that 34 million unpaid caregivers provide about 21 hours of care per week for a calculated $350 billion dollar cost; that’s an average of $2,400 out of pocket each year spent to help their relative.
Not every parent in their 80’s has a son living next door who can work from home and support his family - while being on call to make runs into Urgent Care Center for the folks. My parents are that lucky, I’m glad to report. Still, it’s hard to watch them start using walkers, complain of hearing aides or try to remember their pills.
Dad turns eighty-six next month and is still able to pack up his keyboard and assorted musical apparatus to go entertain the “old folks” at a few area nursing facilities. He is ever mindful of how much less he can do now than last year. It can’t be easy – or fun, this growing old, I told Dad. But, it’s better than the alternative, we agreed.
After talking to Ukiahan Eileen Bostwick recently, I became more aware of the struggle many elders have just trying to get to the doctor’s office. One example is a woman with no family in the area who no longer drives, but is able to live on her own here in a small town with a good transportation system. However, when her doctor casually refers her to a specialist in Sonoma County, getting to that appointment makes her life very complicated.
Thankfully, volunteers working in a program called Senior Companions, directed by Bostwick, are available to drive the elderly woman down to that office at the prescribed time and not charge a fee. This service can be a lifesaver for many not able to drive themselves or who have no relative caregivers.
Say you’re 83, can walk around a bit, but have some visual problems which make bills and banking difficult. No family lives near and you’re not sure who to trust with your finances; living on your own is still important, so what do you do?
In many areas, but not all, programs like the Senior Companion and Foster Grandparents are available to meet the practical needs of elders who want to stay in their own homes. Locally, these efforts are sponsored and supported by the Mendocino/Lake Area Agency on Aging, a project of North Coast Opportunities.
So far this year, five Senior Companions working with Bostwick provided over 2,000 hours of service and companionship to seventeen homebound seniors. These volunteers - Sam Campagna, Joy Legg, Joan Martella, Minnie Marchall and John Rauch not only transport their senior ‘clients’ to medical appointments, grocery stores, senior centers for socialization and to church, but help with rehabilitation exercises, paperwork or sometimes just listen and chat – be their companions.
Bostwick often says her local volunteers are “truly angels on earth.” Go visit a ‘rest home’ to see the loneliness these local helpers can alleviate. When clients were asked how they’d feel if they didn’t have their Senior Companions, all their responses sounded somber:
“…I’d be sad and depressed…I’d probably have to move someplace – I couldn’t live alone…I’d feel a little left out, something missing…pretty lost.”
Not only is this program great for clients, but volunteers reap good rewards, too. Certainly the joy of helping others is paramount. But, along with training, they also receive an annual physical, supplemental insurance, help with meal and transportation costs; plus a small stipend is available to those who qualify. Volunteers must be over 60 years old and have twenty hours available per week to give. Call 462-1954 for more information.
As the huge graying of America continues, we must look for better and innovative ways to make sure everyone gets not only the medical care they need, but also other practical daily help and companionship. The end of our journey should be as meaningful as the beginning.