Monday, August 10, 2015

Every Day's a Saturday

(originally published in the Ukiah Daily Journal June 28, 2015)
As much as most of us do not enjoy the slowing of our bodies or the graying of our hair, we have to admit that the growing wisdom from experience and the dawning of retirement upon our lives can definitely help to compensate for some of the physical downgrade.
Of course, the biological struggle continues for many when Rogaine, Botox and Viagra use become part of the senior citizens’ efforts to ward off the inevitable; aging gracefully is much easier to talk about when we’re 40 than it is twenty or thirty more years down the road.
It is a time of letting go: the tedious grind, the daily job, the busy hubbub. Somewhat bittersweet for most, but still a release. Maybe it’s a practice, or a drill, if you will – for when we pass from this life altogether? We’ll see.
I do know for a fact that retiring from one’s chosen career or profession sometimes leads to a whole new opportunity of work. This hasn’t happened to me – yet. I am still very happy to sleep in whenever I desire and not have to please my superiors. That has been an immense joy, and I will not let it go easily.
However, both my parents began employment in a completely different field after their retirements in their late 60’s. For more than a decade they were very satisfied to get up and go to work, again. It was inspiring in many ways to watch them stay useful and benefit from extra pay. People they worked with also enjoyed the advantage of my parents’ wisdom and experience, making it a win-win.
Perhaps that is one reason why they are still up and going now (Mom’s 87, Dad’s 93). Another reason, I believe, is because they still have each other; not many are that fortunate. Maintaining a bond with a mate can definitely extend one’s time here on earth; statistics are there if you look.
One man I had the privilege to know met his new love after he listened to friends who encouraged him to go out to musical events when he was nearing 70. Reticent to enter the dating world, he still opened his life to someone once more. His willingness to love again is an inspiration to all the aging friends he left behind when he passed.
Other close friends retiring from their careers before me, and now after me, are finding the boundless joys this exciting and mysterious time in life can bring. Offset by parents passing or the need to replace knees and shoulders, this life of ‘every day’s a Saturday’ is definitely worth the years of work that brought it to pass.
It is often annoying, though, to see flashing across my computer homepage the various headlines targeting us boomers: “The top ten pitfalls of retirement” or “Where should you live when you retire?”  I am too late for much of the preparatory advice, perhaps…but what can I do with what I have and where I am now?
The answers are actually abundant to the point where it can be confusing. Several options lay before me and many of my friends for every area of life. Finance, relationship and household decisions still give us pause; life’s biggies may still need settling. Should we move to a less expensive area – or country? Money goes much farther in South America, I hear.
Should we marry – or is it financially wiser to maintain two households in the relationship? Balancing the negatives and positives of retiree marriages is a tough one sometimes.
One of my close friends is dealing now with several of those big stressors: divorce, retirement, new relationship, home sale and moving, broken limb…you name it! It’s exciting, but scary, too.
You know those top ten stressful challenges of life – they may be even more challenging into our later years. Is there remedy? You bet! Good friends, lovers, music, food and wine can help, trust me.
Oh, and did I mention…grandchildren?! Don’t worry, I won’t get out my pictures to show you, but suffice it to say my little one-year-old grandson has sparked more love into my aging life! His cheery, dimpled face brightens my day when we Skype; listening to his first, “Bye, Gram-ma!” helped diminish sadness as I ended a recent visit. The future has taken on a whole new perspective.
Thankfully, the wonderful man in my life, together with all my dear family and friends will keep me thinking positively as I move forward into the last chapters of life. My hope is that everyone I know might be as lucky.

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